The drops were falling incessantly from the grey heavens above and the air, humid. I was taking full advantage of the weather by kicking back and laying down on my hammock set up on my balcony.
The smell of wet mud tickled my senses and brought back old memories from when I was in school. Ahhh, the good old days with me and my friends, playing football and slipping and sliding in the swampy grass.
I and my roommate Vikas were noisily sipping hot tea with a delicious side dish of onion pakoras and boy oh boy was it a match made in heaven. My mother used to stuff her cheeks to the brim with it! I think she loved eating them more than kissing me on the cheeks!
The rain drowned out our sipping and loudly clattered on top of the plastic shed above us. We were shielded from the wet by it. I must say, whoever lived here before us really had brains. I mean even I couldn’t have imagined such rain occurring in Delhi at the start of March?!
One by one the pakoras went down with the Lipton with great relish. The salty and sweet flavor took me back to the times when I used to eat the sour-punk candy that was very popular those days. I used to bring the lot to the school and then show it to my friends with great pride. Being a good boy and having pity on my poor fellows I shared every slice.
Finally, the moment came when the last pakora lay lazily looking at both of us, and both our mouths watering with drool when unexpectedly the telephone rang. I dashed to the newspaper rack kept inside, almost slipping on the way because I was wearing slippers to take the call.
But unfortunately, bad weather had played truant and the call was surprisingly dropped. We were bemused the call dropped. I pondered over it for a while and thought to myself, how come?
That was unlikely to happen given that we stayed in Delhi where rarely calls were dropped. In such a bustling metropolis if even one call was dropped and god forbid if it was the Prime Minister himself, It would make the headlines of the next edition of the daily newspaper. "PM’s call dropped due to wild weather playing truant”.
A wave of silence came over us as we got lost in deep thought. We talked again about how the call must’ve been dropped and why? We were again wrapped by a thick blanket of silence. I put my hand to my chin and paced back and forth in front of the rack. It was my thinking position. I thought well in that way but today some other being had taken over.
I took in a deep breath and called out to Vikas to resume our very civilized task of sipping tea and munching on pakoras as I walked back to my hammock. Suddenly, as I began to plop my healthy body on the poor strings holding the hammock the telephone rang again. I guess they were relieved from their tension! (All Puns Intended)
This time Vikas took the call. He seemed to be quite serious about it because it took him a good few minutes while I waited for him to return. Mind you, all this time the last pakora still lay on the plate but I being a good friend and well mannered, controlled my appetite and left it for Vikas.
I could hear him talk and it seemed that he was confused. After the call ended he came back and flung himself on the beanbag and landed with a satisfying boom. For a while, a few minutes of silence passed as we stared into the white scenery that was created by the rain and I was getting comfortable until I saw his face.
What he had heard left him more bewildered. I had never seen him like this before, so confused. After all, he was the college topper and I was, as you could say the send place guy. But today all that changed. For a few moments, I felt the way he felt every time he topped an exam. Ahhh, pure bliss.
I asked him about the call but he didn’t reply. He was shying away from the topic. Well, this was something new! I started making guesses but he kept flinging them out of the window. In vain did I try to get it right but the arrogant guy always waved his hand of dismissal. He finished the last pakora as I looked at it going down his thin throat and we gulped down our now cold teas and went to our rooms to study.
I couldn’t get my mind off of the call but decided to keep quiet. He could get very cranky sometimes you know? Like that very old man living right next door to us and always scolding us to do things like this for that. I always thought Why does it matter to him? But I always kept it to myself.
After finishing my butt - load of work I went for a walk to stretch out and dragged along Vikas with me. The laziness was mutual. As we were walking I asked him one last time about the phone call and he replied - being now in a cooled state after satisfyingly finishing his day’s work - that it was some dog who had butt-dialed the phone.
I couldn’t believe my ears! I asked him once more and he said that all he could hear was the barking of the dog and some farting sounds. I rolled on the black and dusty tarmac, holding my stomach and laughing my heart out. It was the most amusing thing that had happened to me in years!
What made it, even more, funnier was the straight and constipated face he held while narrating the incident to me afterward!
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